BIG ANGE and The WHOLy Grail

I know its been a little while since I've updated the blog but, there she is folks. That ain't no 5 dollar foot long, no Quizno's prime rib sub, no Jersey Mike's cheese steak, and especially not anything you can get at Publix or Piggly Wiggly. That's the Harris " teet " Teeter WHOLE SUB aka The WHOLy Grail. I am what Mr. Teeter calls a VIC prodigy, a VIC card ALL STAR. As you can see above is the one and only WHOLy Grail. How does one obtain this flavor bursting, protein packing, muscle gaining, chick magnet ? Oh, well Big Ange is about to let you know about the QUEST. Yes, the quest for instant satisfaction and gratification, something you always dream about. Saving money, eating healthy, looking sexy, and getting those hot CHICKS.First let me enlighten you on Harris Teeter aka The Teet. I'm hoping all the snow birds out there know what a Harris Teeter is and if you don't, let me tell you it's Heaven. The Teet as you all know offers the VIC program, you may not be a Teet prodigy like me but you can still embark on the quest. "The Quest," is for VIC ONLY, VIC offers the $2.99 half sub($3.03) including tax, oh and its $3.27 if its a hot sub. Every single day you can choose between two different subs, let me fill you in on the M-S lunch schedule("The Quest Map")

Monday: 1/2 Turkey or Pork BBQ Sub
Tuesday: 1/2 All Subs (you can pick any sub of the week) god that's great
Wednesday: 1/2 Ham Sub or Philly Cheese steak Sub
Thursday: 1/2 Club Sub or Meatball Marinara Sub(Big Ange's favorite)
Friday: 1/2 Tuna Sub or Breaded Chicken Breast Sub
Saturday: 1/2 Ham Sub or Sausage and Peppers Sub
Sunday: 1/2 Roast Beef Sub or Meatball Marinara Sub

Ok, so hopefully knowing you have your VIC Card and you now have your map, you can embark on the quest. With every 1/2 sub you purchase you get ONE VIC point. You must obtain fifteen points to get the WHOLy Grail. I get two 1/2 subs every day, so that means I really have the potential in getting the WHOLy Grail once every week. So let me fuck you up with some knowledge. That means I spend about $46.00 a week. I think the average student pays if not more at least $16.00 a day on food, that's $112.00 a week. That is more then double the amount I pay and in return I get the free WHOLE SUB. Along with the free WHOLE SUB, you get to reap all the benefits it has to offer you. You must first accomplish the quest, its not going to be that easy either. You think you can just walk right up and order a sub ? NO, NO, the Teet is a finicky beast and you must tame it, there will be many distractions, but you must stay focused on the WHOLy Grail. With every map, there is a key and I will list the KEY DISTRACTIONS you must look out for:

1. Grocery cart round up guy aka The Guards,
He is going to try and block you off at every angle. You gotta stiff arm him with your 15 points receipt in hand.

2. Free sugar cookie aka The Illusion,
You gotta stay focused, if you stare at Harry the Happy Dragon you will not walk out with the WHOLy Grail, you will walk out with two dozen sugar cookies.(god there good) but stay focused!

3. Free samples aka The Infantry,
Mr. Teet doesn't want you getting the free WHOLE SUB, he is going to do anything he can to stop you. There will be free grapefruit, free pineapple, free cheese, free bread and dip, and free cheesecake! Keep your eye on the prize, don't let temptation get you. Stay Strong

4. Check out aka Last Chance,
Be smart, don't go to the register. There will be a Babysitters Club chick right in front of you with so much food you will be there for an hour. Time is valuable, go to the self checkout, scan the WHOLy Grail and get the hell out. You won't need money, because its free!!

Now that you have the WHOLy Grail you must devour it... Oh my god is that a Grizzly with a freshly spawned Salmon in its mouth? No, that's Big Ange takin it to the house on the one and only WHOLy Grail. Don't get cocky when trying to eat this BEAST, use two hands and unbutton those slacks because things can get messy REAL fast. Like I said before, once you devour and tame the WHOLy Grail, you get to reap the benefits it has to offer you. For example:


Oh yeah, you bet that ass that's a Panthers cheerleader, and Big Ange is eatin lunch with her. THAT is one of the benefits of conquering the WHOLy Grail. You save money, eat healthy, get frickn jacked where your arms are so big you can't wear sleeves, and hook up with Carolina Panther Cheerleaders. You think you got what it takes to embark on the quest ? Are you a loser who wants to be cool? Leave those training wheels at home boys&girls and come get some. PEACE