Bluetooth

I am sure errrrrbody knows what a bluetooth is. It is the hands free cell phone thing and kinda looks like a plastic cockroach, that allows you to do about 16 different things while talking on the phone. I KNOW! so for all of you who have been on the phone and freak out to get a pen or something. The bluetooth makes it a stress free situation. Or for me while I am at the snack machine at Trident talking on the phone, wanting to break through the glass to get my daily Big Texas, because I am struggling to keep the phone between my head and shoulder. I mean it helps everybody out, from being the paranoid work-a-holic to maybe someone who just likes to have a good chit-chat while you're clipping your toe nails. I don't know about you but, the whole talking on the phone and clipping your toe nails deal seems SWEET. It also makes you look REALLY cool, but at other times maybe clinically insane. To your eyes it may look like that someone who has this super cool hands free cockroach on their ear is screaming at themselves staring at the wall. But you're sadly mistaken, that someone has a BLUETOOTH and they're not staring at that wall, they're pissing on it while talking on the phone. Yeah, I said screaming before because doesn't it seem like people who use the bluetooth are yelling at nothing? They just talk really loud. No need for explanation, you have witnessed this first hand. I don't know why they do it, just how it is I guess. Lucky for us huh? US NORMIES, us non-important people who don't have the portable cockroach.

We just enjoy the pleasure of listening to their conversation. It also may lead to misinterpreted confrontation because you thought the dude in front of you was insulting you when he yelled, "damn, you're a faggot!" So, now instead of immediately layin the woop ass on this guy I have to ask, "excuse me, do you have a bluetooth?" You may also get a misinterpreted racial slander of some sort. For instance, I was waiting in line at the gas station(long line) I finally get to the register and of course K' Shambia has a bluetooth. She is looking down, but I thought she knew I was there. I asked her," may I please have five on pump 1?" She looks up and says, " god dammit, I gotta deal with all these dam crackers!" of course she was talking about her inventory delivery from Lance Crackers, but I didn't know that. I looked around and noticed that yeah, there was a lot of white people in the gas station, but no need to hit me with a racial slur just because I want some gas. I gave her the immediate stink eye like uh uh nah you ain't just that. She of course picked up a box of crackers and then also pointed to her bluetooth and apologized.

You may also get the misinterpreted flirting from a lady, this also happened to me. I was at the grocery store, in the frozen food isle on my knees trying to reach the chicken fajitas. When someone asked me(so I thought) what I was doing tonight. I looked in the reflection of the freezer door and saw there was a hot chick standing there turned around. Then she said, "do you want to go to a party?" and I said, " yeah, yeah that sounds great," and then she said," we can hang out at my house before." So I mean come on I was about to go home and eat chicken fajitas and watch family guy. You know standard procedure. I couldn't pass this up, so I said, " yeah, that works."
She then flicks her hair around and points at her bluetooth, telling the person on the phone excuse me because the jackass I am thought she was coming on to me.

You would think that this kind of stuff happens a lot with people who use the gaytooth. I hope it isn't another advancement in technology like going from pagers to cellphones. If everybody went from using cell phones to just using the bluetooth, do you know how many people would be fighting from all the misinterpreted confrontation. Instead of getting more minutes on your plan for a two year contract, you would get a bluetooth with tazer.Now that's a deal. If I happen to be at the Citadel Mall around one of those Cell Phone Islands and they have that offer, you better believe I'm taking it. So if yall have a big ego, and always feel like you have to defend yourself you better ask that person if they have a bluetooth first. I really hope this bluetooth thing is just a phase. Ya know, everyone kinda thinks its cool at first, they sell out and then just run out of money because nobody wants them anymore. Kinda like a furgy. I hope Mark Sanford doesn't make it a law that we have to wear these things while driving. Like big Arnold did out in Cali-Forn- Ia, it will increase road rage. When it comes down to it, I think its just another social demo graph. Jocks,nerds,preps,frat,redneck,prepneck,emos, and now THE BLUETOOTHS. Let them do what they want and hopefully we can stay out the way. PEACE